It ain’t half hot mum

If you’re fiftyish, you’ll remember that your mum never let you watch Magpie (too common and Susan Stranks didn’t wear a bra) but Blue Peter was ok. As was Thunderbirds, devotees of which will have been particularly gripped by the episode where the Sun Probe headed to its doom. For those of you who missed it (and thereby an essential part of childhood), said rocket bore its intrepid astronauts to collect particles of a solar flare, but lost control and headed for the heart of the Sun instead. Happily, our brave marionettes saved the day and all ended well, but in the interim the endangered souls ramped their air con ever higher, sweat pouring off their little plastic faces as the fans on the blinking dashboard failed to cope with the heat. And as we head into Summer proper, you kind of know how they felt. Other than wheels and an engine, air conditioning is about the most essential part of any French car. Jean Pierre may be quite content pottering about in his ancient Renault, the wind blowing through the open windows as refreshing as standing in front of a hair dryer – but he comes from hardy local stock and has spent 60 years toiling in the fields, heat regardless. You and me however, come from northern climes and our idea of a balmy day is one where frostbite is unlikely (but still possible).

If you’re unconcerned about personal safety, then there are still a few ridge sided (but totally open) Citroens about – which have seats like deck chairs and are extremely cool. But assuming you’re familiar with French driving habits and need to cover more than a handful of kilometres a week, it’s probably better to invest in something more staid. And don’t worry about the dents (you’ll pick up some along the way however careful you are) – just look for the big blue button above the stereo. And check that it works.